黑客（普通话）

一、 悼念及遗憾。
片中主演Mr.Brown的Barry Evans是个生下来就被遗弃了的孤儿,这个70年代的颇有天赋的英国情景剧演员在经历了其演绎鼎盛期过后由于找不到合适的角色而淡出银幕,以开出租车维生. 在1997年2月11日被警方发现死于自己寓所的沙发上.享年52岁.
官方的验尸报告声称Barry死于酒精中毒,而人们更愿意相信的是他死于谋杀,因为一名验尸官发现其头部存在明显的被尖锐物品击中的痕迹,很有可能是致命伤. 其家中的电话线也被掐断,并且有贵重物品遗失.
可是随后警方停下了对此案的调查,所以Barry的死因至今是个迷.
(关于Barry Evans网上的记载并不多,不过运气够好搜到老外建的网站上关于他生平以及死因调查的记载,却也仅此而已. 连续好几小时试图能搜到一些他的照片,可是出来的都是剧照或者电影海报,就连这些都很稀少,更别提其40-52岁期间的照片了...太伤心了)

二、角色介绍。
这部70年代的sitcom(即:情景喜剧)体现了可爱的英式冷幽默.
在Youtube上只找到了26集,(按理说网上应该找得到29集)有点遗憾但是也够运气了.
片中人物各有特色,作为一个始终无法克服主观臆断的渺小个体,下面的描述我将尽量避免带入太多个人感情色彩以求公正.
而后面的对话片段由于本人英语水平有限,又没有字幕,在各国恶劣口音的英语共存的条件下,听错或者听的不准确是在所难免的,请同学们见谅了.

首先是偶家可爱英俊又有点傻的倒霉蛋English teacher,Mr.Brown.
极其温柔极其可爱极其英伦极其有风度极其抗打击极其有耐心极其的极其的极其的一切好的形容词!

然后是被Mr.Brown认为是凶猛又邪恶的Dragon的女校长Miss Courtney,她老是欺负偶家的Brown. 另外,60左右的她还未婚,觉得女人是比男人高级的存在.
学校茶水室的老奶奶Gladys长得特可爱,负责向学生以及教工提供茶水.
而耳朵不好使说话又含糊不清还酗酒的糊涂老头Sid是学校的清洁工.


再来介绍一下来自不同国家的活宝学生们:
法国的性感女郎Danielle的名言是: At night,we make love.
意大利的Giovanni激动或者感觉意外时的口头禅是：桑特玛丽亚!(音译,原意应该是发音不标准的 圣·玛丽亚!) 在离别场合以及听到感人故事时英俊挺拔的他总会在众人惊讶的目光中拿领带擦眼泪.
希腊的Maximillian在课堂上每次被问到想谈什么话题时总是满脸期待地说:girls!
他和Giovanni这俩活宝总是跟在Danielle屁股后头,一个说:hey,you sit with me.另一个气愤的瞪大眼睛说: no! she sit with me!然后就开始搂袖子准备干架. 不过最终臭味相投的他们成了好朋友(或者狐朋狗友).

来自中国的Su-lee(女)总是主席语录不离手,随时准备高举红宝书一脸严肃激愤地向西方列强们宣传主席口中的真理,其口头禅当然就是: Chairman Mao said *&%&^%$$##@$%%^#@!@!

日本的一脸和气的老年朋友Taro回答问题之前总是站起来礼貌的说:Asso!然后鞠躬. 脖子上常年挂着一个黑色相机,谈到日本就说个不停: Japan mako besto camero ando besto telivisiono ..$%^&^##@$%.ando besto everthing! (日本制造最好的相机最好的电视...,日本的东西是最好的!)

巴基斯坦的Ali和印度的Ranjeet由于国家和宗教原因总是争吵和打架,Ali叫Ranjeet为monkey face,而他在Ranjeet口中则成了stupid muslim.两人都是一脸的老奸巨猾.Ranjeet尤甚.

东德的Anna善良又力大无比,每当坐在她旁边的Max想调戏她时回以重力一击(用手肘).
印度的Jamila(女)每时每刻都在织毛衣,刚来的时候连good都不会说.在偶家Brown的教导下最后终于能正常交流了.

西班牙的大胡子Juan听不懂别人的话时老说: por favor ?
而匈牙利的xx(后面几集来的,不记得他的名字了)(男)则说Balchana?
面对这俩活宝Mr.Brown常常在重复问题好多遍后一脸无奈的说:Oh! Never Mind!

三、剧情片段再现。

---- 第一节课 ----
Mr.Brown: I am Brown.
(寂静...Ali和Jamila一脸震惊)
Ali: Oh no,you are making a mistake.
Mr.Brown: A mistake?
Ali: Yes please. You are not brown,we are brown(指向自己和旁边的Jamila), you are white!
Mr.Brown: .....

(众人坐好,Juan进)
Juan: $%%^%$&&***%$$##..(西班牙语)
Mr.Brown：Yes?
Juan: %%^&&*^%^&*/...
Mr.Brown: I don't understand what you are saying but i'm sure that you are not looking for a middle work class.
Juan: Por favor?
Mr.Brown: Doesn't matter. Have a sit.
Juan: Por favor?
Mr.Brown: (指着自己的凳子坐手势) Sit down.
Juan：Ah!(坐在了Mr.Brown的凳子上)
Mr.Brown: ehh...not there!
Juan: Por favor?
Mr.Brown: (指着学生席)There!
Juan: Ah! Por favor?

Mr.Brown: What is your name?
Max: Maximillian xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Papandrious (好长的名字)
Mr.Brown: (- -!..)I think I'll just put down your name as Max.

----- 检查完Juan的作业 -----
Mr.Brown: I sometimes wonder if you are quite as stupid as you look.
Juan: por favor?
Mr.Brown: never mind!(一脸无奈)

--- 一节关于shopping的课上 ---
Mr.Brown: Giovanni? (指着一瓶柠檬汁,这是什么?)
Giovanni: Lemon Juice.
Mr.Brown: Good. Juan? (指着一瓶牛奶)
Juan: Cow Juice！

--- 情景模仿课上 ---
(对众人交代好是假设的情景后...)
Mr.Brown: Taro, you are going to the bank.
Taro: Banko? (愣了几秒后) Yeso!(一鞠躬,径直走向门口)
Mr.Brown: Where are you going?
Taro: Banko.
Mr.Brown: Oh it's only a pretend bank.
Taro: Pretendo?
Mr.Brown: Yeso....ehh YES!
Mr.Brown: Imagine this table is the bank counter,and i'm the bank clerk,you are my customer and you are coming to cash a check, alright?
Taro: Oko.
Mr.Brown: Good morning,Sir.
Taro: It iso, not goodmorning time.(指向窗外)It iso, good night time!
Mr.Brown: Yea,it is now, but we are pretending.
Taro: Asso!

...
诸如此类笑点还有很多,讲是讲不完的,就此打住好了.

--------------
Youtube上的视频,每一集分3部分.右边的一直到25集都有.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCtImYZ24qg

Mind your language S1E1

Ali:I am not going where I am looking.
Mr.Brown: No,no! I wasn't looking where I was going.
Ali: That makes the two of us!

Miss Countney: This is not unsatisfactory! This won't do at all.
I distinctly requested the Local Authority to send me a woman

teacher. Especially after the unfortunate incident involving Mr.

Warburton. I'm afraid he only lasted a month, then he departed.
Mr.Brown: Dead?
Miss Countney: Demented. Yes, the strain was too much for him.

Typical of the male sex! No stamina.

Mr.Brown: I'm Brown.
Ali: Oh no. You are committing a mistake.
Mr.Brown: Mistake?
Ali: Yes, you are not brown! We are brown! You are white.
Mr.Brown: My name is Brown! I'm your teacher.

Mr.Brown: What is your job?
Ranjeet: I'm a very important member of the British underground.
Mr.Brown: The underground what?
Ranjeet: Just the underground. Mind the doors.
Mr.Brown: Oh that underground.(=subway地铁)

Mr.Brown: Apart from one attempted murder and a possible race riot,

I think we're coping reasonably well.
Miss Countney: Well, we have one thing to be grateful for anyway.

Sex won't be rearing its ugly little head.
From past experience, it isn't race or religion that causes problems,

it's usually the presence of some foreign beauty. Jealousies,

intrigues, all sort of thing.

Giovanni: I never notice. You see its my eyes! I'm a little short

sighted. (And also a much big liar.) It's not true. Mr. Green.
Mr.Brown: The name is Brown.
Giovanni: You see! I'm a colour blind as well.

Ali: And you are asking for a kick up your big brown backside?

Su-lee: It is duty of every citizen to overthrow imperial warmongers.

So say Chairman Mao.

Mr. Brown: Ali. You are...
Ali: You are waiting for mu to speak an answer.
Mr. Brown: Well done.
Ali: Unfortunately, I am not understanding the question.
Mr. Brown: I want you to give me a sentence using 'You are...'
Ali: I am.
Mr. Brown: No, not 'I am', 'You are'! For example, you are from

Pakistan.
Ali: I am from Pakistan.
Mr. Brown: Yes, but now use 'You are'.
Ali: But I cannot say you are from Pakistan, because you are not, are

you?
Mr. Brown: Repeat after me. You are English.
Ali: No, I'm not! I'm from Pakistan. You are confusing me.
Ranjeet: You are stupid poof.
Ali: Don't you call me poof.
Ranjeet: Poof.

Miss Countney: Job getting you down already?
Mr. Brown: No, no, I'm fine! Never felt better. There's just one thing

rough. That window you nailed down! I think I ought to put a few more

nails in it.


Mind your language S1E2 An inspector calls

Juan: Por favor?
Miss Countney: Are you really as stupid as you look?
Juan: Por favor?

Mr. Brown: So we appear to be some missing, I hope they haven't

dropped out.
Ali: Please, it would notbe surprising me, I am always thinking that

Sikh, son of Guru, was a Punjabi drop out.(laugh at Ranjeet)
Ranjeet: I'm hearing what you are saying, you miserable spawn of a

jackal!
Mr. Brown: Don't you two start again! Actually, you are late.
Ranjeet: A thousand apologies for this unforgivalbe tardinees. But we

were all unavoidably detaained in the corridor by a lady...Sorry I forget

about her name. She was big lady, very large bosoms!

Su-lee: England is becoming more porriticarry minded, and gladually

more left wing.The overthrow of decadent capitaristic goverment will

soon take place. As working classes become more educated. And

embrace Communism as the true way of life. Workers revolution

getting nearer. With inevitabel collapse of Imperiaistic bougoise

intellectual society.
Mr. Brown: Yes! Well if thats what you like about England. I wouldn't

want to hear what you didn't like.
Taro: Excuse please. May I have small observations on young lady's

discourse, which will also irrustrate increased knowledge of English.
Young lady speak road of cobras!
Su-lee: Attitude typical of Fascist Nipponese!
Taro: Japan civilised country,not like China Ren by peasant.
Su-lee: Chinese not peasants!
Taro: Japanese not Fascist!.......I lose face, not my fault!
Mr. Brown: Never mind whose fault it was! Go and apologize!

Miss Countney: It has taken you 2 min 38 sec exactly to come to my

office immediately. I'm glad I didn't ask you to take your time.

Max: Danielle, what you do after class?
Danielle: I go back home to learn the English.
Giovanni: Hey, I'm going to learn English as well. Maybe we learn

together.
Danielle: Yes but what about poor Max?
Max: Yeah.
Giovanni: What about the poor Max? I'm crying my eyes out.
Danielle: I have an idea.
Giovanni: I have a lot of ideas.
Danielle: Why not you and Max study together?

Mr. Brown: I expect you'll a bit of difficulty finding your way round at

first. Things will seem rather strange.
Inspector: very strange.
Mr. Brown: It must be quite a change coming from one of the under-

developed countries to our more advanced way of life.
Inspector: Oh yes.
Mr. Brown: Still, your people are doing remarkably well. Did you fly

here?
Inspector: Fly?
Mr. Brown: Fly! In a big iron bird. Quite a change from riding an

elephant. Unless you came by Jumbo. haha~ English joke.

Giovanni: Professori.
Mr. Brown: You should call me Sir.
Giovanni: Oh, I understand. You have been to get knotted.
Mr. Brown: come again?
Giovanni: To become a Sir! you got knotted by the queen.
Mr. Brown: The word is knighted! And I'm not that kind of Sir.

Mr. Brown: Taro.
Taro: Aso.
Mr. Brown: Su-lee
Su-lee: present.
Mr. Brown: Ali.
Ali: Gift!
Mr. Brown: Gift?
Ali: I'm surprising you, no? Each day I am learning new English

word.And I am finding that gift is another word for present.
Mr. Brown: Very ingenious.

Mr. Brown: I'd better take down your particulars, otherwise I may get

into hot water.
Ali: You are going to have a hot bath?
Mr. Brown: No, Ali. It's just another way of saying I may get into

trouble.
Ranjeet: Oh Dear. You have been committing some grievous

misdemeanour?
Mr. Brown: Not at all.

I do assure you that Mr. Brown will be severely dealt with.
Ali: Blimey you are dropping a clinker.
Mr. Brown: You mean clanger. (Drop a clanger= say sth wrong)
Ali: Yes pls.


Mind your language S1E3 A Fate worse than death

Ali: How about ajelly good shirt? Guaranteed one hundred percent

substandard.(Ali was supposed to say standard.)

Mr.Brown: Now, before we do anything else this evening, I want to

find a monitor. A monitor is a person who can take charge of the

class during my absent, somebody intelligent enough to assume

responsibility.

Mr.Brown: I'm going to ask you each to read a passage from the

newspaper. Then we'll discuss it together, OK? Max,You start.
Max: American Embassy bugged.
Mr.Brown: Good! Now dose anybody konw what that means?
Taro: It means American Embassy full of little insects.
Mr.Brown: No, Taro! They're not that sort of bugs! Listening devices.

Ali: You are putting some innocent lady in the pudding club. (in the

pudding club=pregnancy)

Ranjeet: I am up the creek without a puddle.
Mr. Brown: Paddle.

Ranjeet: This lady, is she resembling an elephant?
Miss Countney: I wouldn't exactly put it like that although she is

rather large.
Mr. Brown: Ask her to come along here.
Miss Countney: That's very irregular.
Mr. Brown: It is rather important.
Miss Countney: Very well,but don't make a habit of it.

Danielle: Prime minister sold a pup.
Mr. Brown: Good. Now that is a very good example of a figure of

speech. It dosen't mean what it says.
Su-lee: Typical of imperial poriticians who distort truth and suppress

working classes.
Mr. Brown: A figure of speech is a way of expressing an idea by way

of contrast or comparison. If you are being sold a pup or sold a

dummy, you are being cheated or deceived. In England, we use

figures of speech quite a lot. For example, we say as quick as

lightning, as light as a feather, as clean as a whistle. As blind as a

bat. As deaf as a ...Max?
Max: Postman.
Mr. Brown: No Max, Posts. Because posts can not hear. (As deaf as

a post)
Max: Neither can my postman.
Mr. Brown: Ali, as sly as a...
Ali: Sikh.
Mr. Brown: Fox. (As sly as a fox) as a mad as a ...Ranjeet?
Ranjeet: Muslim.
Mr. Brown: Hatter! (As mad as a hatter) Taro, as drunk as a ...
Taro: Newt.
Mr. Brown: Lord is more correct. (As drunk as a Lord) Jamila, as

white as...
Jamila: You.
Mr. Brown: Snow! Ali, as smooth as?
Ali: A baby's bottoms.

Mr. Brown: With all due respect, she was a couple on her own!

Giovanni: It's a sheer coincidence.

Mr. Brown: I thought she'd agreed to release you from the marriage

now.
Ranjeet: Yes, she has. But her farther is coming here to see you

about your marriage now.
Mr. Brown: Look, there's not going to be any wedding I've broken it

off. I've written to her parents, explaining that I couldn't possibly marry

their daughter. I pointed out the differences between our religious and

cultural backgrounds. And the fact I have no intention of marrying

anyone. He should've got the letter this morning.
Ranjeet: Oh yes, he did. That is why he is coming. He is hoping to

be slicing you into many pieces.
Mr. Brown: Pardon?
Ranjeet: He say you are bringing disgrace on his daughter.



Mind your language S1E5 The best things in life


Ali: I am coming up on the puddles. the football puddles.
Mr. Brown: The football pools.
Ranjeet: That is typical of that Muslim twit! No brains whatsoever.

Mr. Brown: Do you wish to cash a cheque?

Danielle: How much to post a letter?
Mr. Brown: Is it someone in England?
Danielle: No, no, it's a Swiss letter.
Mr. Brown: Well, it's more correct to say you want to send a letter to

Switzerland, not a Swiss letter. It could be very embarrassing if you

were writing to someboday in France. (French letter = condom)

Mr. Brown: Don't be ridiculous.
Juan: Pretending. Haha...

Mr. Brown: Pretand you have a cold.
Ranjeet: A cold what?
Mr. Brown: Alright, let's forget about the cold. just imagine your have

a pain.

Mr. Brown: There's obviously been some misunderstanding.I'll sort it

out with the police. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. Ali, I'll do

the talking, alright? you just leave it to me.

Police: Before you go sir, would u like to make a donation to our

Police charity fund?
Mr. Brown: Well as a matter of fact, you've caught me at a rather

awkaward moment.
Police: What about the five? You remember Sir, the one you thought

you never had. You know what they say, what you've never had you

never miss, unless you knew it was there all the time. In which case

it would come under bribery and corruption. You scratch my back

and I scratch yours.

Miss Countney: Well, untill Mr. Brown returns I shall take the class. I

shall ask you a few questions on general knowledge. Now first of all,

can anybody tell me who said "To be or not to be"?
Su-lee: Chairman Mao.
Miss Countney: It may come as a surprise to you, but other people

wrote things besides Chairman Mao.
Su-lee: He wrote everything.

Miss Countney: Are you not familiar with Shakespeare's works?

Miss Countney: Let me ask you a simple question. Can you tell me

how many P's there are in a pound?
Taro: Depend on size of peas.

Miss Countney: Now look, sir, it was obviously just been a

misunderstanding. I see no reason why we should pursue this any

further.

Police: What is your name?
Ali: Watt is not my name.
Police: I don't want to know what your name is not. What is your

name?
Ali: And I am telling you it is not.
Police: What is his name?
Ranjeet: Absolutely not.
Police: Not what?
Ranjeet: That is correct.
Police: What is your name?
Ranjeet: Wrong again.
Giovanni: He's not here.
Max: Yes.
Police:Who?
Max: Watt.
Police: Pardon?
Max: Who is not here and Watt is not here neither.
Police: You are all barmy.
Mr. Brown, if I promise not to proceed with this report, will you do me

a favour?
Mr. Brown: Yes, what is it?
Police: Take these crackpots out of here, and promise never to bring

them back. Even if they've commited a murder.

Miss Countney: Pls don't remind me of last night's unfortunate

incident. I hope you've explained to your Indian lady the difference

between Free and Free Offer.


Mind your language S1E6 Come back all is forgiven

Mr. Brown: If you want to argue argue in English.
Juan: Go back to Italy, you Italian spaghetti.
Giovanni: Your big Spanish omellette.

Giovanni: Maybe she's gonna give you the birthday present.
Mr. Brown: Yes and maybe the pope is getting married.
Giovanni: He is ? I never read that.
Mr. Brown: It was a joke.

Mr. Brown: would you all pay attention pls. I have sth rather important

to tell you. I'm afraid that Miss Countney has terminated my

engagement.
Ali: That is very big surprise to me.
Mr. Brown: Yes, it was a bit of a shock to me as well.
Ali: We are not knowing that you and Miss Countney were engaged.
Mr. Brown: You don't understand. I mean to coin a phrase I've been

given the boot. No Juan, can't you understand! I've been fired. I've

been given the bullet.
Giovanni: Santa Maria! She tried to shoot you?
Mr. Brown: No, I've been dismissed.

Giovanni: We have a strike.
Max: Yeah, let's have the strike.
Ranjeet: what is this strike? Does this mean we are going to be

fighting?
Giovanni: No, No, No. It's like a big onions.
Anna: What onions?
Giovanni: The trade onions.
Ali: Excuse me, I am thinking your strike not going to be working.

What we are needing is to be revolting.
Ranjeet: And I'm thinking you are already revolting. (revolting has

dislike meaning too.)

Miss Hardacre: I've come to drum English into your respective alien

heads.


Mind your language S1E7 The cheating game

Mind your language S1E13 The final exam

在笑点被无聊电视剧调得越来越高的今天，这部剧许多依旧让我笑得肚子疼，周末两天就刷完，好多部分忍不住安利同学。
好喜欢棕先生，包括他的主演，心疼这两个男人。当然了解更多的是Mr.Brown，喜欢他字正腔圆一脸无奈地纠正同学发音与语法错误，喜欢他被熊孩子的错误弄得忍不住笑，喜欢看他和同学打闹背地里说校长坏话一脸贱萌，喜欢他喝酒后晕乎乎傻白甜增加n倍，喜欢他内心正常男人但同时为人正直(正常？)善良又绅士，喜欢看到他每集各种倒霉催，但是又好心疼……
主演97年去世，同年年底我出生。君生我未生，我生君已去。他的眼睛会笑，笑起来整个人都在发光！能演出那么甜又纯真角色的人，生活里也一定是这样善良的一个人，好喜欢他。
打算去刷Doctor of the house.

夏末秋字幕组翻的有点排序的问题，我对照百度百科发现第一季少了第九集，谁有啊？谢谢，都有联系~~~
鞠躬~~