马男波杰克第五季

So I stopped at a Jack in the Box on the way here, and the girl behind the counter said, “Hiya! Are you having an awesome day?” Not, “How are you doing today?” No. “Are you having an awesome day?” Which is pretty… shitty, because it puts the onus on me to disagree with her, like if I’m not having an “awesome day,” suddenly I’m the negative one.

Usually when people ask how I’m doing, the real answer is I’m doing shitty, but I can’t say I’m doing shitty because I don’t even have a good reason to be doing shitty. So if I say, “I’m doing shitty,” then they say, “Why? What’s wrong?” And I have to be like, “I don’t know, all of it?” So instead, when people ask how I’m doing, I usually say, “I am doing so great.”

But when this girl at the Jack in the Box asked me if I was having an awesome day, I thought, “Well, today I’m actually allowed to feel shitty.” Today I have a good reason, so I said to her, “Well, my mom died,” and she immediately burst into tears. So now I have to comfort her, which is annoying, and meanwhile, there’s a line of people forming behind me who are all giving me these real judgy looks because I made the Jack in the Box girl cry. And she’s bawling, and she’s saying, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” and I’m like, “It’s fine. It’s fine.” I mean, it’s not fine but, you know, it’s… fine. And I would like to order a Double Jack Meal, and I’ve kinda got somewhere to be, so maybe less with the crying and more with the frying, huh? [inhales] And the girl apologizes again and she offers me a free churro with my meal. And as I’m leaving, I think, “I just got a free churro because my mom died.” No one ever tells you that when your mom dies, you get a free churro.

[people murmuring]

[clears throat]

Anyway, I’m sorry, that’s not part of the… [clears throat] All right. Okay, here we go. Let’s do this. Here I am, BoJack Horseman, doing a eulogy, let’s go. Hey, piano man, can I get a, like an organ flourish? [organ plays] Nicely done. You know, I was a little worried I wouldn’t have the right accompaniment today. I guess it’s a good thing my mom was an organ donor! [rimshot plays] What happened to the organ? [horn ‘oogahs’] Okay, why just leave the comedy to the professionals? Okay? This is a funeral, sir, for my mother. Can you show a little respect? [trumpet whines] I’ll take it.

Beatrice Horseman, who was she? What was her deal? Well, she was a horse. Uh, she was born in 1938. She died in 2018. One time, she went to a parade, and one time, she smoked an entire cigarette in one long inhale. I watched her do it. Truly a remarkable woman.

[rustling]

Lived a full life, that lady. Just, all the way to the end, which is, uh, now I guess. Really makes you think, though, huh? Life, right? Goes by, stuff happens. Then you die. Okay, well that’s my time, you’ve been great! Tip your waitress! No, I’m just kidding around, there’s no waitress. But seriously, that’s all I have to say about my mother. No point beating a dead horse, right? So…

[inhales] Now what? I don’t know. Mom, you got any ideas? Anything? Mom? No? Nothing to contribute? Knock once if you’re proud of me.

Can I just say how amazing it is to be in a room with my mother, and I can just talk and talk without her telling me to shut up and make her a drink? Hey, Mom, knock once if you think I should shut up. No? You sure? I mean, I don’t want to embarrass you by making this eulogy into a me-logy, so, seriously, if you wanted me to sit down and let someone else talk, just knock. I will not be offended. No? Your funeral.

Sorry about the closed casket, by the way. She wanted an open casket, but uh, you know, she’s dead now, so who cares what she wanted? No, that sounds bad. I’m sorry. I-I think that if she could’ve seen what she looked like dead, she’d agree it’s better this way. She looked like this.

[groaning]

[mourners gasping]

Kinda like a pissed-off toy dinosaur. The coroner couldn’t get her eyes closed, so now her face is forever frozen in a mask of tremendous horror and anguish. Or as my mom called it, Tuesday! Tuesday! My mom called it Tuesday.

[woman coughs]

Hey, Mom, what did you think of that joke? You like that? You never did care for my comedy.

[clears throat]

Here’s a story. When I was a teenager, I performed a comedy routine for my high school talent show. There was this, uh, cool jacket that I wanted to wear because I thought it would make me look like Albert Brooks. For months, I saved up for this jacket. But when I finally had enough, I went to the store and it was gone. They had just sold it to someone else. So, I went home and I told my mother, and she said, “Let that be a lesson. That’s the good that comes from wanting things.” She was really good at dispensing life lessons that always seemed to circle back to everything being my fault.

But then, on the day of the talent show, my mother had a surprise for me. She had bought me the jacket. Even though she didn’t know how to say it, I know this meant that she loved me.

Now that’s a good story about my mother. It’s not true, but it’s a good story, right? I stole it from an episode of Maude I saw when I was a kid, where she talks about her father. I remember when I saw it, thinking, “That’s the kind of story I want to tell about my parents when they die.” But I don’t have any stories like that. All I know about being good, I learned from TV. And in TV, flawed characters are constantly showing people they care with these surprising grand gestures. And I think that part of me still believes that’s what love is. But in real life, the big gesture isn’t enough. You need to be consistent, you need to be dependably good. You can’t just screw everything up and then take a boat out into the ocean to save your best friend, or solve a mystery, and fly to Kansas. You need to do it every day, which is so… hard.

When you’re a kid, you convince yourself that maybe the grand gesture could be enough, that even though your parents aren’t what you need them to be over and over and over again, at any moment, they might surprise you with something… wonderful. I kept waiting for that, the proof that even though my mother was a hard woman, deep down, she loved me and cared about me and wanted me to know that I made her life a little bit brighter. Even now, I find myself waiting.

Hey, Mom, knock once if you love me and care about me and want me to know I made your life a little bit brighter.

[owl chirping]

My mother did not go gentle into that good night. She went clawing and fighting and thrashing, hence the face.

[groaning]

[mourners gasping]

If you’d seen her, I swear to God the only thing you’d be thinking about right now is that I am nailing this impression.

[woman clears her throat]

[chairs squeak]

I was in the hospital with her those last moments, and they were truly horrifying, full of nonsencial screams and cries, but there was this moment, this one instant of strange calm, where she looked in my direction and said, “I see you.” That’s the last thing she said to me. “I see you.” Not a statement of judgment or disappointment, just acceptance and the simple recognition of another person in a room. “Hello there. You are a person. And I see you.”

Let me tell you, it’s a weird thing to feel at 54 years old, that for the first time in your life your mother sees you. It’s an odd realization that that’s the thing you’ve been missing, the only thing you wanted all along, to be seen. And it doesn’t feel like a relief, to finally be seen. It feels mean, like, “Oh, it turns out that you knew what I wanted, and you waited until the very last moment to give it to me.” I was prepared for more cruelty. I was sure that she would get in one final zinger about how I let her down, and about how I was fat and stupid and too tall to be an effective Lindy-hopper. How I was needy and a burden and an embarrassment—all that I was ready for. I was not ready for “I see you.” Only my mother would be lousy enough to swipe me with a moment of connection on her way out. But maybe I’m giving her too much credit. Maybe it wasn’t about connection. Maybe it was a… maybe it was an “I see you,” like, uh, “I see you.” Like, “You might have the rest of the world fooled, but I know exactly who you are.” That’s more my mom’s speed.

Or maybe she just literally meant “I see you. You are an object that has entered my field of vision.” She was pretty out of it at the end, so maybe it’s dumb to try to attribute it to anything.

[woman sighs]

Back in the 90s, I was in a very famous TV show called Horsin’ Around.

[man coughs]

Please hold your applause. And I remember one time, a fan asked me, “Hey, um, you know that episode where the horse has to give Ethan a pep talk after Ethan finds out his crush only asked him to the dance because her friends were having a dorkiest date contest? In all the shots of the horse, you can see a paper coffee cup on the kitchen counter, but in the shots of Ethan, the coffee cup’s missing. Was that because the show was making a statement about the fluctuant subjectivity of memory and how even two people can experience the same moment in entirely different ways?” And I didn’t have the heart to be, like, “No, man, some crew guy just left their coffee cup in the shot.” So instead, I was, like… “Yeah.”

And maybe this is like that coffee cup. Maybe we’re dumb to try to pin significance onto every little thing. Maybe when someone says, “I see you,” it just means, “I see you.” Then again, it’s possible she wasn’t even talking to me because, if I’m being honest, she wasn’t really looking at me. She was looking just past me. There was nobody else in the room, so I want to think she was talking to me, but, honestly, she was so far gone at that point, who knows what she was seeing? Who were you talking to, Mom? [sighs] Not saying, huh? Staying mum? No rimshot there? God, whatever I’m paying you, it’s too much.

Maybe she saw my dad. My dad died about ten years ago of injuries he sustained during a duel. When your father dies, you ask yourself a lot of questions. Questions like, “Wait, did you say he died in a duel?” and “Who dies in a duel?” The whole thing was so stupid. Dad spent his entire life writing this book, but he couldn’t get any stores to carry it or any newspapers to review it. Finally, I guess this one newspaper thought he was pretty hilarious, because they ran a review and tore him to shreds. So my father, ever the proud Mary, decided he would not stand for this besmirchment of his honor. He claimed the critic didn’t understand what it meant to be a man, so he demanded satisfaction in the form of pistols at dawn. He wrote the paper this letter, saying anyone who didn’t like his book, he would challenge to a duel, anyone in the world. He’d even pay for airfare to San Francisco and a night in a hotel. Well, eventually this found its way to some kook in Montana, who was as batshit as he was and took him up on the offer. They met at Golden Gate Park and agreed: ten paces, then shoot. But in the middle of the ten paces, Dad turned to ask the guy if he’d actually read the book and what he thought, but, not looking where he was going, tripped over an exposed root and bashed his head on a rock.

[murmur]

I wish I’d known to go to Jack in the Box then. Maybe I could have gotten a free churro. It would’ve been nice to have something to show for being the son of Butterscotch Horseman. My darling mother gave the eulogy. My entire life I never heard her say a kind word to or about my father, but at his funeral she said, “My husband is dead, and everything is worse now.”

“My husband is dead, and everything is worse now.” I don’t know why she said that. Maybe she felt like that’s the kind of thing you’re supposed to say at a funeral. Maybe she hoped one day someone would say that about her. “My mother is dead, and everything is worse now.” Or maybe she knew that he had frittered away all her inheritance, and replaced it with crippling debt, which is a pretty shitty thing to leave your widow with. “Bad news, you lost a husband, but don’t worry, you also lost the house!” Maybe Mom knew she’d have to sell all her fancy jewelry and move into a home. Maybe that’s what she meant by “everything is worse now.” Is that what you meant, Mom?

I gotta say, I’m really carrying this double act. At least with Penn and Teller, the quiet one does card tricks. Hey, piano man, when I say something funny to my mom, how about you give me one of those rimshots?

[rimshot plays]

Yeah, but not now. When I say something funny. Like, okay. What’s the difference between my mother and a disruptive expulsion of germs? One’s a coughin’ fit and the other fits a coffin! That’s an example of a funny thing.

[rimshot plays]

Thank you. Let’s try again. Hey, Mom. What’s the difference between my mother and a bunch of Easter eggs? One gets carried in a basket, the other gets buried in a casket!

[rimshot plays]

Ready for one more? Last one. What’s the difference between a first-year lit major and my mother, Beatrice Horseman? One is decently read, and the other’s a huge bitch!

[woman gasps]

[murmurs]

Yeah, might have gone a little too far with that one. That one might’ve been a little too “my mom’s a huge bitch” for the room. I’m sorry, Mother. You’re not a huge bitch. You were a huge bitch… and now you’re dead.

[woman sighs]

You know, the first time I ever performed in front of an audience, it actually was, uh, with my mom. She used to put on these shows with her supper club in the living room and she used to make… [inhales] She used to make me sing “The Lollipop Song.”

[organ playing tune]

Those parties, they were really something. There were skits and magic acts, and ethnically insensitive vaudeville routines, and the big finale was always a dance my mother did. She had this beautiful dress that she only brought out for these parties, and she did this incredible number. It was so beautiful and sad. Dad hated the parties. He’d lock himself in the study, and bang on the walls for us to keep it down, but he always came out to see Mom dance. He’d linger in the doorway, scotch in hand, and watch in awe, as this cynical, despicable woman he married… took flight. And as a child who was completely terrified of both my parents, I was always aware that this moment of grace, it meant something. We understood each other in a way. Me and my mom and my dad, as screwed up as we all were, we did understand each other. My mother, she knew what it’s like to feel your entire life like you’re drowning, with the exception of these moments, these very rare, brief instances, in which you suddenly remember… you can swim.

[flashback]

[partygoers laughing]

[classical music playing]

But then again, mostly not. Mostly you’re drowning. She understood that, too. And she recognized that I understood it. And Dad. All three of us were drowning, and we didn’t know how to save each other, but there was an understanding that we were all drowning together. And I would like to think that that’s what she meant when we were in the hospital and she said, “I see you.”

You know, the weird thing about both your parents being dead is it means that you’re next. I mean, you know, obviously it’s not like there’s a waitlist for dying. Any one of us could get run over by a Snapchatting teen at any moment. And you would think that knowing that would make us more adventurous, and kind, and forgiving. But it makes us small, and stupid, and petty.

I actually had a near-death experience recently. A stunt went bad and I fell off a building. I’m an actor, I do my own stunts. I’m on this new show Philbert. I’m Philbert. Star of the show. It hasn’t come out yet, but it’s already getting Emmy buzz. Oh, speaking of buzz… [inhales] I’m supposed to take two of these every morning, but my days are so screwed up ‘cause of the shooting schedule, I don’t even know what morning means anymore. There’s a joke in there somewhere, about a guy who’s been to so many funerals, he doesn’t even know what mourning means anymore. Let you guys figure that one out for yourselves. [gulps]

Anyway, you know what I thought, when I was falling off the building and I went into panic mode? The last thing that my stupid brain could come up with before I died? “Won’t they be sorry.” Cool thought, brain.

[rimshot plays]

No, that wasn’t… would you just… dial it back, all right?

I don’t even know what “they” I wanted to be sorry. My mom, even before she died, could barely remember who I was. And of course, my dad’s dead. The last conversation I ever had with him was about his novel. He was so certain this book was his legacy. Maybe he thought it would vindicate him for all the shitty things he ever did in his stupid worthless life. Maybe it did, I don’t know. I never read it, because why would I give him that?

I used to be on this TV show called Horsin’ Around. Seriously, though, hold your applause.

[man coughs]

Well held. It was written by my friend Herb Kazzaz, who’s also dead now, and it starred this little girl named Sarah Lynn. And it was about these orphans. And early on, the network had a note, “Maybe don’t mention they’re orphans so much, because audiences tend to find orphans sad and not relatable.” But I never thought that the orphans were sad. I-I always thought they were lucky, because they could imagine their parents to be anything they wanted. They had something to long for.

Anyway, we did this one season finale, where Olivia’s birth mother comes to town. And she was a junkie, but she’s gotten herself cleaned up, and she wants to be in Olivia’s life again. And of course, she’s like a perfect grown-up version of Olivia, and they go to the mall together and get her ears pierced like she’s always wanted and—sorry, spoiler alert for the season six finale of Horsin’ Around, if you’re still working your way through it. Anyway, the horse tries to warn her, “Be careful, moms have a way of letting you down.” But Olivia just thinks the horse is jealous, and when the mom says she’s moving to California, Olivia decides to go with her. And the network really juiced the cliffhanger: “Is Olivia gone for good?” But of course, because it’s a TV show, she was not gone for good. Of course, because it’s a TV show, Olivia’s mother had a relapse and had to go back to rehab, so Olivia had to hitchhike all the way home, getting rides from Mr. T, Alf, and the cast of Stomp. Of course, that’s what happened. Because, what are you gonna do, just not have Olivia on the show? You can’t have happy endings in sitcoms, not really, because, if everyone’s happy, the show would be over, and above all else, the show… has to keep going. There’s always more show. And you can call Horsin’ Around dumb, or bad, or unrealistic, but there is nothing more realistic than that. You never get a happy ending, ‘cause there’s always more show.

I guess until there isn’t.

[chuckles]

My mom would hate it if she knew that I spent so much time at her funeral talking about my old TV show. Or maybe she’d think it was funny that her idiot son couldn’t even do this right. Who knows? She left no instructions for what she wanted me to say. All I know is she wanted an open casket, and her idiot son couldn’t even do that right. I’m not gonna stand up here and pretend I ever understood how to please that woman, even though so much of my life has been wasted in vain attempts to figure it out. But I keep going back to that moment in the ICU when she looked at me, and… “I-C-U.”

“I… see… you.” Jesus Christ, we were in the intensive care unit. She was just reading a sign. My mom died and all I got was this free churro.

You know the shittiest thing about all of this? Is when that stranger behind the counter gave me that free churro, that small act of kindness showed more compassion than my mother gave me her entire goddamn life. Like, how hard is it to do something nice for a person? This woman at the Jack in the Box didn’t even know me. I’m your son! All I had was you! [inhales]

I have this friend. And right around when I first met her, her dad died, and I actually went with her to the funeral. And months later, she told me that she didn’t understand why she was still upset, because she never even liked her father. It made sense to me, because I went through the same thing when my dad died. And I’m going through the same thing now. You know what it’s like? It’s like that show Becker, you know, with Ted Danson? I watched the entire run of that show, hoping that it would get better, and it never did. It had all the right pieces, but it just—it couldn’t put them together. And when it got canceled, I was really bummed out, not because I liked the show, but because I knew it could be so much better, and now it never would be. And that’s what losing a parent is like. It’s like Becker.

Suddenly, you realize you’ll never have the good relationship you wanted, and as long as they were alive, even though you’d never admit it, part of you, the stupidest goddamn part of you, was still holding on to that chance. And you didn’t even realize it until that chance went away.

My mother is dead, and everything is worse now, because now I know I will never have a mother who looks at me from across a room and says, “BoJack Horseman, I see you.” But I guess it’s good to know. It’s good to know that there is nobody looking out for me, that there never was, and there never will be. No, it’s good to know that I am the only one that I can depend on. And I know that now and it’s good. It’s good that I know that. So… it’s good my mother is dead.

[gulps, sighs]

Well. No point beating a dead horse. Beatrice Horseman was born in 1938, and she died in 2018, and I have no idea… what she wanted. Unless she just wanted what we all want… to be seen.

Is this Funeral Parlor B?

—— from Reddit

首先感谢友邻提供的资源。

I would like to talk about the E05. Because Princess is the one that I admire the most，i love his strong，confident and independence……

【1】

公主却从来没当过公主，因为王子总是擦肩而过，但她却是自己的女王。虽然第四季公主又被编剧狠狠虐了一把，总以为她该找到属于自己的幸福了吧，像很多优秀的“大龄剩女”那样，可是猫和老鼠怎么可能真正相依相偎一辈子呢？她又流产了比老鼠更伤心的她却像没事人一样自己主动选择离开了老鼠。

当看到要强的卡洛琳公主坐在车里哭泣时我和很多剧迷们一样心也跟着碎了一地～～～为什么生活总是不能善待她呢？也许这才是拍的真实操蛋的生活呀，哪有那么多happy ending 呀！

我们这一年都企盼着公主在第五季能有好剧情走向，很多人想的还是看到她能遇到真正的懂得疼爱她的Mr·right，她不用再那么坚强的像一块顽石。可看了几集我看到的公主依旧还是那个干练独立被打磨的近乎铁娘子般，仿佛被工作的繁忙占据了一切，没有那么多时间伤春悲秋的她。

她全能的样子，对工作游刃有余的样子，被太多巨婴需要的样子……依旧让人佩服又让人心疼。

【2】

可又不太一样了，经历既改变。她外表虽顽强的屹立不倒，但一个女人到了一定年纪内心深处的温柔会堆积的泛滥成灾。她对于爱人和生孩子不是没努力过，这一切对于她来说困难重重，所以她才毫不犹豫的选择掏重金给领养中介机构帮忙寻找可以领养的小孩，母性使然。即使中介机构的工作人员态度恶劣的像坨屎，可母性的渴望还是让人变得温柔。

我们也看到了公主的过去，她变成了今天这样的追根溯源，原生家庭和过去实在太影响你变成什么样的人，这部剧里大概每个人都能很好的诠释，就像我们自己也是一样。

她年轻时也曾愿意为了一份爱情放弃自己的梦想，如果不是意外流产她也差点肤浅的想像妈妈灌输的靠嫁入狐狸家豪门改变命运。可如果真的那样的话她会从此失去卡洛琳公主她自己，在见狐狸爸爸时这位名门望族爸爸那番以后她嫁过去了要过怎样生活的话就彻底扼杀了她的人生和选择，她再也没有机会变成真正的自己，人生不可能自我掌控。

她能从此自主选择自己的道路，不是因为别的，正是看清了爱情和爱人的脆弱。也是豪门梦碎妈妈拿出那封大学录取通知书，这让她重拾梦想狠狠诀别了有时也很自私的母亲，她知道了从此该如何努力主动的去改变自己的落魄命运，她知道只能靠自己变得强大才可以自主命运，而身边谁也帮不了她。故事当然没有详细说她吃过多少苦头，又是如何靠没有家庭的支持没有学费却完成学业并在洛杉矶扎根成为一个女经纪人的，不过可想而知吧。

所以公主也不是一直以来就是个敢于自我选择的人，每个人人格样子的形成都是一步一步走出来的模样。现在的公主除了工作全能外，除了做一个被波杰克被陶德被戴安被花生酱先生等等需要的朋友和全能女强人外，她也还想做一个可以靠自己目前的经济条件抚养一个属于她的不再会走她走过的路的小孩，没有爱情但能成为一个很好很温柔的母亲的人。

公主是坚强的总为别人解决问题的，她不是弱女子却同时也是最让人心疼的。希望以后的她即便没有爱人能有小孩的陪伴能少一点孤单吧，无论她选择什么生活只要是自己自主选择的就一定是最正确会变得更好更有意义的生活。

我们自己也是这样，共勉吧。

焦虑的斑马波波是第七集戴安的心理医生英迪拉为了和她老婆讨论患者八卦时波杰克的化名。

马男波杰克——如果你已经看完了整部剧集——在这一部剧中不再像以前那么浑浑噩噩了，但在结局依然搞砸了一切。简单地总结起来就是：波杰克以主角出演了一部后来大热的侦探剧，这部剧的剧情就如马男前几季的剧情，吉娜（戴安）试图接近警探菲尔伯特（波杰克）并找出有关他老婆死因的真相（波杰克生活的真相）接着到了第二季，吉娜发现菲尔伯特原来是人格分裂症患者，他才是杀死他妻子以及许多朋友的凶手（戴安包括剧里的其他角色知道了马男所做的所有坏事）。而这一剧情反转对于菲尔伯特的效果就像陶德在第三季第十集结尾对马男说出的那一段爆炸性台词：

没错，在第五季重新做人的马男，又开始被他以前做的那些shitty things困扰了。本季第六集母亲的葬礼stand-up comedy和第十集戴安和马男的争吵甚至在剧本里给马男下套这些剧情加剧了马男的自责，再加上马男天生不善于把自己的痛苦展露给别人，不愿意和朋友谈论这些事情，于是他又开始投向毒品的怀抱。

就像在酒桌上喝酒如饮水吨吨吨的中年男人一样，马男寄希望于毒品和酒精之类的快感以冲淡中年危机带给他源源不断的痛苦。美国的一部纪录片《面具之下》提出由于典型的masculine概念深入人心，很多男性没有方法去表达自己内心的苦闷，于是他们偏执地独自忍耐下去，就如波杰克的父亲在第6集开头告诉他的道理：“你不能依赖任何人”，很多男性观众会觉得这种说法无比熟悉吧，就像小时候我们会被教导的：“像个男人”、“不要像女孩一样哭鼻子”，在这样教导下成长的男性，如果生活遇到了困难，他们通常拥有两种选择：

1. 对身边人发泄（通常是自己的妻子和孩子）

2. 对自己发泄（导致严重的心理问题）

因为在男性的世界里是很少有像“去找心理咨询师治疗”、“和朋友倾诉自己生活中的伤痛”这样一般女性会选择的选项。“男人”一开始就是“顶天立地”的形象，不论流多少血都能和生活逆境战斗到最后一刻的生物。在父权社会里，他们是把整个社会撑起来的人，也同时是家庭的顶梁柱。但是这样的“男权”给男性带来的真的是好处吗？

那些在酒场豪饮的中年男人、那些在商业会所陪客户唱着卡拉OK的中年男人、那些在厕所里呕吐甚至是在医院里住院的中年男人又是多少人的父亲呢？他们经常出门躲避的是什么？是你。或者可以说，他躲的是一段健康的、正常沟通的情感。因为这不符合社会给他们定下的形象，他们从没被教导过如何成为一个能够正常表达负面情绪的人类。

回到bojack，他在第五季从来没有和吉娜谈过任何心里的不安，而PC由于领养孩子太忙了所以无暇照顾马男，那么bojack这个巨婴就留给了戴安（同时也是戴安得知马男在新墨西哥和17岁少女可能有染的时候）但由于戴安不愿意照顾他，甚至在剧本里混入了马男曾经真实说过的台词，使他再次被懊恼和痛苦包围。如此一来，第五季的最后，波杰克首先选择了第一个选项：把自己内心的痛苦推向其他人，觉得是有人要破坏“吉娜的幸福”（其实就是他当时得到的简单又复杂的幸福）最终在演戏的时候差点掐死吉娜。第二季被砍之后又转身向戴安要求执行第二个选项：让戴安写文章披露自己，也就是伤害他自己。

于是在本剧的最后一小段，戴安（出于愧疚？）试图帮助波杰克走出这种“定式思维”并给出了一个新的选项：“戒毒所”，有点像是心理咨询的存在。

马男又质疑：“如果我戒毒之后，我还是像以前一样那么糟糕怎么办？那我还不如回家”

戴安说：“听着，你有两个选项，你可以回家，试图以你的方式去做你一生以来一直在做的那些事情，或者你可以看看这些人能做什么。”

这也给男性观众提供了一条新的思路：为何要执着于封闭自己，把所有的伤痛都用酒精或者毒品掩盖？你本可以试试看其他人能为你做什么。而不是成为父权社会的一个消耗品，一个抑郁的电池。这也是全剧最女权的一部分了。

1 凝视理论和性别平权

在第一集中，吉娜批评菲尔伯特中的女性裸体戏和萨茜无脑人设为“男性凝视”（male-gazing），于是马男用学会的新词，用来跟编剧叫板，却适得其反，也被拍了裸戏。

此处字幕将male gaze(y) 译成“物化女性”

let's give women something to gaze

那么，什么是男性凝视？

男性凝视的概念最初是由女权主义电影评论家劳拉·马尔维（Laura Mulvey）在文章“视觉快乐和叙事电影”（1975）中提出的，其中她提出性别之间的权力不对称是电影中的控制力量;男性凝视是为了男性观众的快乐而构建的，这种观点深深植根于父权制的意识形态和话语中。

在相机将观察者置于异性恋男人的视角中时，他的视线徘徊在女人身体的曲线上，女性成为为电影故事中角色或电影的男性观众的色情对象。通过在男性凝视中，男性成为电影幻想中的主导力量，其中女性是男性观众主动凝视的被动对象。男性凝视优先于女性凝视反映了两性之间社会和政治权力的潜在不对称。”

而与男性凝视对立的是女性凝视。在此类电影中女性成为一个叙事故事讲述者，而不是一个对象。这些电影旨在代表女性主角的欲望，因此，代表女性电影观众的欲望。

但是女性凝视是不正常的，只要想象把文艺复兴时期绘画里面的绘画中女性换成男性就能明白。

自行脑补三秒……

然而这个正常的正是男性凝视不正常之处：无论是男性个体还是由这些个体创造的机构，都有能力决定什么是“自然的”。 随着时间的推移，这些构建的信念开始显得“自然”或“正常”，因为它们是流行的并且没有受到挑战。

那么，当波杰克拍裸戏时，就是对性别的“正常”一种挑战与抗争。

果真如此吗？

戴安不这么想。即使影视作品将女性作为欲望主体，究竟能改变什么？为什么必须是女性来对抗这一切？抗争是否一种精力的浪费？

女性凝视的电影给了女性自己是主体的幻像，而当幕布落下，她依然必须面对现实世界中的种种不公。

（戴安新发型好评）

波杰克并不理解女权，但是在第四集中，他却成了人人喜爱的女权主义者。让戴安不能理解的是，当她为女权发声时，没有人会听，而当马男说出同样的话，所有人都称赞他的勇敢。当名人说自己不反对女权主义时，又多少是出于政治正确，而不是真正的共情和理解？

这种双重标准让我不禁联想到国内对“田园女权”的指责：不知多少男性指责者真的就比所谓田园女权了解更多女权理论呢？

“谁在乎你怎么想，我说我是女权主义者那我TM就是！”

性别平权运动本质上是极其复杂的。

性侵或家暴受害者即使发声，也未必就能解决问题。比如，吉娜就是这样。

当马男发现自己对吉娜施暴后，他本来想坦白一切，说出自己做了什么，但是吉娜阻止了他。“人们终于通过我的表演认识了我，我不想成为那个被波杰克掐过脖子的女孩。我不想让你成为发生在我身上的最广为人知的事情。我不想让你成为人们在采访我时所有问题的焦点。我想让这事快快结束。”

她恨极了波杰克，但是她不想在公众眼中永远做一个受害者，而非一个演员，一个独立的人。于是她选择了沉默。

编剧曾被问及：很多在温斯坦之后发声的人并不一定那么有名，现在所有人关注的就是她们的被虐待经历，吉娜这个角色是否与这类事情有关？

他的回答是：

这非常可怕。我厌恶那些人，他们以为这些女性讲述关于虐待的故事是为了能够成名。没有一个例子可以证明那是可行的。我不认为这就是为什么有人会这样做的原因。事实上，完全相反，这是她们不这样做的原因。我明白为什么一个女人会想要对她的故事保持沉默，这是非常悲伤的。”

的确是悲伤的。她们生活在要么隐忍着痛苦，要么职业受挫还被人误解污蔑的困境中。

而从性侵者的角度来看，问题变得更加复杂。

作为一个马男波杰克的万年粉，我是喜欢他的，虽然他做过让人讨厌的事情，但是他毕竟是一匹丧得可爱的马。

这并不能掩盖他是一个施暴者的事实。

在第五季中，戴安对费尔伯特的批评也是我一直以来对马男波杰克这部剧的疑问：难道施暴者的内心痛苦就能减轻他的罪行吗？用这一点为自己的糟糕行为辩护是否正当呢？他们应该成为我们同情的对象吗（比如杀人的滴滴司机）？

戴安的回答是：看看受害者。看看萨拉琳，看看那个杭州女孩，她们已经死了。

这句话是残忍的，无论是对戴安还是观众。但是这是看马男时不能忘记的一点。

相比之下，陶德的支线故事就轻松愉快多了。但是他作为无性恋人群的故事，也提出了很严肃的问题：社会倾向于把少数群体无差别地带着刻板印象去看待，忽略了TA们也是立体的有个性的人。

陶德和尤兰达虽然同样是无性恋者，却除此之外并无任何共同点：一个充满不切实际的梦想，一个理性而实际，最后两人和平分手。

陶德提出分手

这就引出了交互性（intersectionality）的问题。

社会的压力来自各个方面，每一个边缘人的处境也不尽相同，所以，我们应该综合地考虑这些因素，毕竟少数群体也是普通人。

说句题外话，我也认识一位无性恋者。

我们在一个纽约州的小镇散步，偶然看到一户门上挂着彩虹旗的人家。她说：“看，gay flag！” 我随口说：“也说不定是女同呢。”

于是她问我：“这个问题可能有些私人，但是你是直女吗？”

“应该是吧，不过我还在questioning……” 我很惊讶，一是发现自己从来没仔细想过这个问题，二是好奇她为什么会问这个问题。（不过两年后的今天，如果有人问我这个问题，我可以很肯定地说我不是。）

“唔，我是无性恋。我从来没有对任何人产生过性欲。” 她平静地说。

我们从此之后不再那么频繁地见面了，尽管我非常喜欢她：她是我见过最喜欢猫和狗的人，管狗叫pupper，她还喜欢玩电子游戏和画画。她母亲是杭州人，父亲是德国人。她很可爱。

想到这些，我总是觉得很可惜：如果我放下那点可悲的矜持，如果我能更了解全部的她，那该多好。

2 美国的鸦片类药物危机（opioid cricis）

注意床头柜上的药瓶

波杰克此次的药物成瘾与此前纯粹的娱乐不同。第五集中PC在老家无法照顾片场，导致波杰克发生了事故，从楼顶摔下，摔伤背部。从在医院接受治疗时起，他才开始服用一种棕色小瓶里的止痛片。

疑似波杰克服用的止痛片oxycodone

如果不是参加过一次关于止痛片滥用的辩论并做过这方面的研究（当时的辩题是：是否应该像对待毒贩一样严罚开过量阿片类药物处方的医生），如果不是在夏校时宿舍楼里有人吸毒昏迷被送去医院，我也不会注意到这个细节。

在我们指责波杰克的种种不堪时，也不要忽略了这个（在美国）由来已久的严重社会问题：鸦片类药物泛滥（opioid epidemic）。

合成类鸦片类药物如芬太尼（fentanyl）和羟二氢可待因酮（oxycodone）属于针对慢性疼痛的合法药物，比如波杰克的背痛。这些药的成瘾率相当于海洛因，高于吗啡，但是却被广泛地通过正规渠道贩卖给病人。

“正规药物”

早在1996年，制药公司Purdue Pharma声称OxyContin虽然比其他止痛药强大得多，但由于其缓释化学配方而不那么容易上瘾。许多医生相信了OxyContin神话并受到制药公司提供的津贴的鼓舞（这些制药公司在2000年花费了令人难以置信的40.4亿美元的直接营销。）

在服用这些药物的人群中，百分之二十七误用药物，百分之八到十二产生了神经紊乱。药物滥用的症状包括：将阿片类药物与酒精或某些其他药物相结合，每日服用高剂量的阿片类药物，服用非法的阿片类药物，如海洛因或非法制造的芬太尼。这些症状波杰克都有了。

合理用量大约在三小时一粒，波杰克是整瓶往嘴里倒……

受害的不只波杰克一人。

根据美国疾病控制中心的数据，去年美国毒品过量导致超过72,000人死亡 - 这是由致命的阿片类药物流行引起的新记录。 疾病预防控制中心估计，2017年有72,287人因过量服用而死亡，比前一年增加了约10％。

根据新数据，大部分死亡人数 - 近49,000人 - 是由阿片类药物引起的。 最大的驱动因素是合成阿片类芬太尼，它杀死了超过29,000人，其次是海洛因和其他毒品。 越来越多的过量药物使得这种药物大流行比枪支暴力，汽车碰撞或艾滋病更致命，这些暴力事件在一年内从未杀死过多少人。2017年，每天有近200人因过量服用而死亡。

波杰克已经在尝试着戒酒，他却深陷于这些药丸中，如果没有那个事故，他本可以开始新的生活。

——真的吗？

自然，有他自己的问题。

他需要麻醉自己，这样内心才能稍微好受一些，但是无论是靠酒精，海洛因还是止痛片，他永远逃不脱的唯有自己。

"It's you."

他唯一能改变的，只有承认自己需要帮助。于是在全剧结尾，他去戒毒所寻求帮助。他终于做到了这件几十年都没有完成的事。虽然他自己也担心也许一切依然不会好起来，但是这小小的努力意味着他至少有可能恢复。

因为如果不能改变自己，至少也要直面。这是改变的第一步。

这一点适用于所有的瘾君子。

3 荒诞/符号学

想必大多数观众都对第六集中波杰的独白佩服得五体投地。

当马男平静地讲述自己在汉堡店的日常经历时，没人能猜到他此时是在母亲的葬礼上致悼词。他这种平静，不禁让人马上想起《局外人》的开头：“母亲死了，也许是昨天，我不知道。”

同样与加缪的《局外人》暗合的，还有这一集中数不清的让人心碎的荒诞：

母亲死了，波杰克的生活却一如既往，唯一不同的是他有理由对陌生人的客套说出自己的真实感受，还有汉堡店送的一份免费油条。

更讽刺的是，棺材里甚至都不是碧翠丝真正的身体，波杰克走错了葬礼厅。

一切都如梦一般荒谬，连葬礼是一场闹剧。而在马男充满闹剧的生命终点，又有谁会缅怀真正的他呢？死者已逝，生者也终有一死。母亲的死提醒了波杰克：人都是要死的，你是下一个。死亡就是生命无意义的最好的证明。

马男在讲台上对棺材说话：“妈妈，你有什么想说的吗？如果你为我骄傲，请敲一下棺材板。”他习惯了母亲的喋喋不休，仍然等待着回答——即使现在，他还在等待，等待着迟来的哪怕一点点母爱。意识到这一点，他愤怒对母亲喊道：我是你儿子啊，我只有你了！

然而所有这些痛苦与期待随着妈妈的死戛然而止，一切都突如其来，毫无道理。

这一刻的寂静是可怕的。

如加缪所说：

世界逃脱了我们，再次显现出自己的本色。那些惯于蒙面的背景又恢复了本来面目，远离我们而去。”

面对像我们所有人一样，马男想给每件微小的细节赋予意义。他的悼词围绕对母亲遗言的阐释展开：“有那么一刻，当一切突然陷入诡异的平静，她望向我说：我看见你了(I see you)。没有批评，没有失望，只有接受。”

这话既可能是对波杰克的认可，也可能是对空中马男父亲幻影所说的，更有可能的，是她在读重症监护室里ICU三个字母。

但最绝望的是，她已经死了，没有人会知道她到底说的是什么。

索绪尔的符号学提出，语言与由所指和能指组成。声音是能指（signifier），而其代表的事物则是所指（signified）。词语可以映射物体，就像当你说到苹果这个词语，我们自然就能想到苹果这一事物，因此一切都存在普遍的映射关系。

索绪尔理论

伊丽莎白一世在临终之时摸了摸自己的头，她这是在表达什么意思呢？她希望传达什么样的信息呢？这到底意味着她在指定詹姆斯一世作为自己的继承人，还是说这仅仅只是代表她死前正在头疼？

在这里，伊丽莎白一世的手势，就成为了一个典型的空洞的能指。它意味着某种东西，它生成了某种意义，我们认为，它应该在对应一个所指，它一定是有其内在的深刻含义的。但是，伊丽莎白已经死了，我们要怎么询问她呢？这个能指的意义又到底是什么呢？

意义，总是要经由能指链条的运动而得到的，或者简单来说，我们对意义的感觉，总是通过“解释”而生产的，因此当你提到一个能指，它其实并不会真正对应所指，它只会让你解释它自己，这个过程中你不断召唤出更多的能指，并形成了一个动态的能指链条。是能指链条带给我们意义的感受。

不过，能指链条也会存在扭曲和断裂的时候，比如那个死掉的伊丽莎白，在我们看来，死亡导致了她一生能指链条的断裂，让我们不能了解到她摸头的动作究竟在表达什么意思……每个人的死亡都是一个能指链条的断裂。”

碧翠丝的遗言也像伊丽莎白的手势一般，是这样一个所指链断裂。她的存在产生了缺口，她不再能解释自己的话，于是没有人能知道她在生命的结束时的所思所想。她是真的在读ICU的牌子吗？

在这个荒凉的世界上，人与人之间唯一的联系——语言，本质上也如此脆弱，如此不可靠，如此不堪一击。

从这个意义上讲，人注定孤独。

即使母亲没有死，马男也是无依无靠的。

费尔伯特编剧的办公室（E4），注意上图中红圈中的英文“尼采”和左侧白板上对尼采的引用：“你若长久地看着深渊，深渊也会凝视你。”以及下面的恶搞：“你若趁深渊心不在焉时足够快地瞟一眼，你就能将其尽收眼底。”

Credit:

1《谈谈女权和自由等问题》，来自公众号“后现代主义哲学”，作者阿月

2 维基词条”male gaze”(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_gaze#cite_ref-mulvey1975_8-0)

3 编剧访谈http://variety.com/2018/tv/news/bojack-horseman-season-5-interview-metoo-netflix-1202941206/3

4 卫报关于opioid crisis 的报道：

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/aug/19/dopesick-dealers-doctors-drug-company-addicted-america-by-beth-macy-review

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/aug/16/us-drug-overdose-deaths-opioids-fentanyl-cdc

5 美国毒品监管中心官网：http://www.drugabuse.gov/drugs-abuse/opioids/opioid-overdose-crisis

6 加缪《局外人》《西西弗神话》

首发于公众号“影探”

ID：ttyingtan

作者：大表姐

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从第一季开始，马男系列的评分就没掉下来9分过。

第五季更是以9.3分强势回归。

有人或许奇怪了。

就这么一匹马，丑啦吧唧，低眉搭眼的，凭什么这么招人喜欢？

别人我不知道，反正对表姐来说，马男就像一剂精神鸦片。

贼！上！瘾！

你看看它的基调。播到第五季了还是那一个字：

丧

作为一个中年过气明星，马男对抗焦虑的方式竟然是——

逃避。

找工作？why? 是酒不好喝，还是烟不好抽？

还是勾搭来的妹子不够靓呢？

40来岁，依然没有相爱的人。

So? 随便跟谁约一炮就好了。

哦，这个“随便”，是真的很随便。

前女友兼经纪人？可以。

片场合作的女主角？可以。

甚至当年电视剧里扮演自己女儿的童星？可以啊没问题。

交心的朋友？

在他家沙发上赖了6年的Todd算一个。

可马男那个态度...日常不耐烦，经常性打击，永远毒舌。

最后天使如Todd，也因为伤害彻底离开。

还有永远给他擦屁股，偶尔也上床的前女友兼经纪人Princess Caroline.

根本不爱他。

在一起，也只是因为惧怕孤独，互相取暖。

就连唯一懂他的女人Diane，

也选择嫁给了更阳光的Mr. PeanutButter。

说实话，每次表姐看着马男的生活，就像看着一个巨大的黑洞。

他唯一擅长的事，就是伤害对他好的人，就是把一切都搞砸。

这样的人，不是人渣又是什么？

可我们偏偏又那么爱这个贱人。

甚至有点...心疼他。

因为丧，并不是他的锅。

作为一次意外怀孕的结果，身为中产阶级的妈妈，不得不因为他，下嫁给了穷困的老爸。

从小，他就被当成是个累赘。

听到最多的话，不是“我爱你”，而是“都是你，毁了我的生活。”

每天看着爸妈争吵，互相指责，没有人在意他的感受。

老妈更是坦言，“你不会幸福的”。

因为你天生破碎。

试问这样一个从未被爱过的人，又该如何去爱别人？

所以除了丧，他还“毒”。

“毒”，是因为被伤到之后，就能一眼看清，哪些是真相，哪些才是谎言。

他换无数女友，孑然一人，不过是看透了恋爱的本质，无非是互相伤害。

也知道人间不值得，假装开心，自欺欺人。

虽然嘴巴一直在得罪人，但心里其实知道大家最想听的是什么。

也早就比其他人参破了人生的意义。

其实从头到尾，马男都是个底色悲凉的、孤独的清醒者。

就像《闻香识女人》中，阿尔帕西诺那番话：

I always knew what the right path was.

Without exception, I know, but I never took it, you know why?

It was too damn hard.

一直以来，马男都知道哪条是对的路。

可他也从来不走，因为太他妈的难了。

所以他一边胡作，一边愧疚，直到第三季结束，

所有人都离开了他。大厦崩塌。

第四季的开头，马男消失了一年。

他远离LA，来到母亲小时候的家里。

在那里，他了解到，原来妈妈也有一个不幸的童年——

当年她的哥哥战死，母亲患了抑郁症，父亲态度冷淡...

她也没有学会怎么去爱人。

之后回到LA的家里，有一个姑娘来找他认亲。

DNA测试后，发现是自己的“女儿”。

“女儿”要马男一起，帮她寻找生母。

就在这个过程中，他无意间发现这是一个大乌龙：

自己其实是姑娘的哥哥。

而当年，正是自己的母亲，帮着姑娘的母亲，也就是插足者，生下了孩子。

“她或许，也没有自己认为的那么刻薄吧...”

故事进行到这里，所有人都以为马男会有一个happy ending。

跟母亲和解，做个有爱的哥哥，和家人团聚。

然而第五季一开头，马男的母亲就去世了。

葬礼上，马男一如既往地开着那些刻薄的玩笑。

可这一幕，却让表姐真实地掉泪了。

致辞时，他提到母亲弥留之际，曾经对他说过最后一句话：

I SEE YOU

我看见你了

尽管装出满不在乎的样子，马男还是忍不住猜测这背后的意味：

她的意思是终于看到我了吗？

54年，妈妈我终于被你看到了。

原来你知道我要什么？我要的就是你的关注啊。

可你却在最后一刻才满足我吗？

那一刻，这个浪荡丧气的中年大叔，委屈地像个孩子。

爱就算迟到，可终究也是爱啊。

所以，马男终于被治愈了？

没有，这部剧没这么善良。

下一秒，马男说到母亲住在ICU病房时，才突然醒悟：

什么I SEE YOU，母亲只是读出了病房牌子上的ICU（同音）。

一切，都只是他的自作多情。

原来母亲直到最后一刻，都没有看过他一眼。

这才是人生啊。人生没这么善良。

只是这一刻，马男脸上的苦涩，让人不忍心再看一眼。

那是他唯一一次在人前表达在乎，那是他唯一一次流露出脆弱。

我们总是期待着有大团圆。

可生活从来不是电视剧，不会在某个幸福的高潮点戛然而止。

我们能做的，或许就像马男一样，假装微笑并信以为真，放浪形骸来掩饰孤独。

并且死不承认脆弱。

有何胜利可言？

挺住意味着一切。

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我不是个苛责的人，但是这一季有些许失望。

人物间联系的紧密性和关联性都降低了，而且还是在探讨一些前几季的老梗，缺乏那种感动和纠结。

波杰克，我们已经陪伴他很久，我觉得他应该学会担当和改变，没人会对一个死不悔改的渣男有太多的耐心。

相比于过去总能截图作为金句保存的前几季，这一季有点小失望。

纠结了许久，给3星，期待提高。